MORP is a hassle. It’s expensive. It’s dramatic. It’s arduous work. So why do people go?
A girl’s hair, dress, shoes, jewelry, nails, corsage and spray tan all leave a significant dent on a bank account. Like, a $500-sized dent. But when you add in dinner for two, dance tickets and a limo (let alone the potential loss of priceless friendships after, for example, a bunch of girls leave a MORP group to form their own), the expenses of a school dance seem excessive and unreasonable. Not to mention some of us guys can be a real drag and not worth the money.
Now, when you add up all of the aforementioned MORP expenses, you’re looking at a $725 tab. Think of what could be done with $725. If you’re feeling Sarah Maclachlan-ish, you can feed 36 puppies for three weeks at the SPCA for $720. Or, for $200, you could donate an entire meal to the Samaritan Inn. Heck, donate three meals and you’ll still have $125 dollars lying around. With that leftover cash, a fun evening with friends is totally possible, so by any means, MORP is not necessary to having a great night out.
But for guys: there’s no debate. If some babe takes the time to ask and escort you to MORP, then it’s totally worth your time. What’s wrong with having a nice evening planned out and paid for by a special lady?
Despite the plenty of underlying hindrances to having a good time at MORP, the reality of it is: MORP is what you make it. It’s supposed to be fun, to truly be a night to remember—and it can be! But if you’re going to mope and reflect upon how much money you blew on a school dance, don’t waste your time with MORP.
by Quinn Murray